Sunday, August 20, 2006

Taking My Leave

The last time I left D.C., I was advised (by my therapist) to really say good-bye when I left. It was a weird concept. D.C. is a place I can never say good-bye to. It's a huge part of me: my friends, the scenery, the history. But I tried. When I hugged each person good-bye, I made a point of saying the words.

I thought of that today as I walked my dog in the hot sun, at the end of a bad week for her. She got bitten twice in one week by two different dogs. It's made me look at my neighborhood differently and made me willing to hurry to the next place.

The next few weeks will be all about handling details and packing and once again saying good-bye. This feels very familiar. My dog and I have friends here. I have to remember that things aren't always stressful... and I vowed today to stop seeing the bad for these next two weeks and try to celebrate the good. After all, this is a town where all the swings in the park are set at adult height.

I've moved so many times and said so many good-byes this seems very natural. My Sikh chiropractor once dubbed me a "wandering Sufi." I never did research the full extent of that, but I remember thinking it was a good designation.

I realize there are lots of people who never leave where they live. They put down roots as kids and just stay planted like Giant Redwoods. I think that's great. I wish I could do it. But my life's been a series of saying good-byes: to people who died, to careers that got where I wanted, then didn't prove to be what I wanted at all... to cities and fantasies and relationships, to images of who I thought I was.

The town I'm moving to ain't much. I'll be working too hard to need too many friends, but my dog will be looking. Luckily, there are dog parks. Maybe I'll finally get into bicycling or hiking, ways to get rooted for the meantime til the next shift in fortunes in two years when this job ends.

All of this might be hard if the rest of the changes didn't feel so right. Onward and upward.

Yee-ha!

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